When I was younger, I always thought growing old was going to suck. Now that I’m older, it isn’t all that bad. I’ve screwed up enough when I was younger, so I don’t do too many stupid things anymore. I have enough experience to make a decent wage. I have a roof over my head, all those things a responsible adult is supposed to have, you know. But, as a kid, you think you know everything, so you assume growing older is going to suck. The partying was going to stop. The new experience would dwindle. Life would just become that of mundane existence as you saw in your parents. Your parents hid a vital secret from you though. Or maybe you just never listened to them? The secret was that growing up doesn’t suck it just hurts.
Every day I wake up it seems something new hurts. And so many of those times, I ask myself, “What have I done to hurt right there?” One time my foot started hurting. I went to the doctor, and he couldn’t find anything wrong with it. He did x-rays, checked me for gout, nothing. Then after about a year, no lie, it just quit hurting. The same thing has gone on with my shoulder, which I think it’s more linked to tension than anything. The pain there comes and goes. One time my back got so messed up, I could barely get out of the bed. I went and dropped a small fortune on a mattress, and BAM! I was back in the game. You know, when I was a teenager, I’ve woken up in peoples’ shrubs, brushed a little dirt off, and rolled out. If I woke up in someone’s shrubs today, someone would probably have to call the ambulance. They’d definitely be calling the police.
As I look back on my life, I remember my youthful escapades with nostalgia. So many things I’ve done, I could never do again. Well, I could, but I’d be bedridden for a few days. Maybe my parents did mention those pains. But as a hardheaded teenager, I scoffed at the inevitable. I think growing up is more painful than boring. At least, I have enough experience to be compensated well to cover my insurance premiums and constant purchases of aleve.